Author: Rene

Perhaps you do not look at your yard and think, “Why is it green over there? There must be a break in the system.” However, we know there’s a problem when it’s green where it should be dried up and thistle-y on your feet, crackling as you walk over the land. Lush? We don’t know lush.

Our weather should be cooling a bit, so next on the “Water Works” schedule will be the repair of water lines in the backyard. This is probably my fault.

I just assume that in some way, shape or form, I have contributed to every break, drip line cut or mowing mishap. You’d think after all these years we could replace me with a permanent gardener? I guess we forgot to build accommodations for a caretaker.

It just keeps my handyman employed. Job security now that he’s retired.

Within ten days, the water heater in my son’s rented condo had to be replaced, my daughter and her husband had to replace a faucet, and we got to join the parade with our plumbing problem.

After cooking an eight-pot/pan meal two evenings ago, aka “creating a mess”, I was eager to scrub and tidy up once our guests left. I began the grimy process, only to have the pipe under the sink loosen and spew water out of the cabinet. Alas! No dishwashing, only mopping and waiting until dawn to fix the issue.

My personal plumber rectified the situation yesterday. I spent a good hour cleaning hardened food particles, deep scrubbing the stove, and of course, cleaning the cleaning supplies under the cupboard. It was probably time to do all of that anyway.

Now that the cleansers have been reviewed, I might as well use them on the rest of the house. Happy Wednesday!

This whole baby-sitting thing is a snap!

Early yesterday I engaged in the Grandmother Protection Program. My daughter had an appointment and I willingly took over baby duties. My little pup slept the entire time while I watched TV.

Those headbands that identify them as precious little females? Apparently they work in multiple ways! Once my little pumpkin managed to get her headgear over her eyes, she slept an additional half hour. Diva? Don’t know. Protection from her grandmother’s adoration? Possibly.

She napped for over 90 minutes and I am going to ensure she has a cute wide headband next time I’m in charge.

My husband regaled me with stories of his weeklong adventure with our son. They were camping and riding and having a grand time. They experienced a blip one day, of course, an issue with a radiator on one of the bikes. They flagged a group which looked to have supplies and did secure some radiator fluid. People out on the trails are always generous and willing to help, by the way. They poured it in and had a decision.

They were able to “cool the jets” and had the choice of moving forward or returning to camp. I interjected into the story, “Of course you went back to camp.”

They did! My husband even said that I would be proud of the decision. However, this served to remind me of another time when I was totally ignored for my sound advice.

Of course, I was not a woman-of-the-sea, being from a land-locked state, and so perhaps, no one should have paid me heed.

We were sailing. We anchored. We went ashore. Six people. We returned from our dinner. The boat had listed. (In someone’s mind.) The sailors – the other five – were worried. I said, “Can’t you just throw out that second anchor?”

I would like to go on record with that comment, even though the other five have admitted to my sane comment. Well, we brought in the anchor to realign ourselves, and of course, screwed up the winch. We paid a price for that. We ended up throwing out the second anchor anyway.

Sometimes the best course is just the most obvious. I am proud of my husband and son.

My granddaughter and I have quite a bit in common already.

Suddenly I’m aware of my belching, especially as I’m “burping” her. We both seem to enjoy that. I think I could nap just about every time she does, too! However, the biggest common denominator is that we are both gaining weight quite nicely. Everyone is happy for her, not so much for me.

What I need to do is get on the floor and kick and move as much as she does. At least I’m upping my arm strength as I tote her around. She’s a good little barbell, and she will be my inspiration for the floor exercises as I ready for the “Grandparent Olympics.”

Good thing I just bought a new pair of stretchy pants for this endeavor. Whew!

Yesterday my sister and I treated ourselves to a “fast facial” experience. This sounded right up my alley, as time for proper skin and hair maintenance is never at the top of my list. A thirty minute “pick-my-skin-up” seemed just about right.

Usually a spa treatment will entail the sounds of the seashore as a backdrop, or a gentle rain falling, or light and airy piano music. It’s possible to drift off to slumberland with the gentle massaging hands of the esthetician, or to imagine you are on a beach with a soft breeze wafting ‘round. Those sixty-to-ninety- minute experiences always leave me feeling groggy and wanting to climb into bed right away though, and my eyes don’t want to adjust to the outside world again. Thus, thirty minutes seemed like a good plan.

When you have a “fast facial,” apparently you get the rapid tempo – Van Morrison and some country tunes mixed in! No falling asleep or imagining the seaside in that brief period of rejuvenation, just glowing and healthy skin and a spring in your step as you leave and purchase the-amazing-lavender-night-time-eye-cream-that-seemed-to-work-miracles-in-under-thirty-minutes. (It would have cost me less to splurge on an extra thirty minutes of “esthetizing.”)

Ah, when you notice me looking ten years younger you can credit Van and Amanda, the miracle-worker. All I have to do is remember to use the product in my simplified nightly ritual.

One of the fascinating articles carefully selected and sent to me in my newsfeed was titled, “How to Clean a Hummingbird Feeder in Five Easy Steps.”

There is a looming question in that one – five steps? Five steps is already three above “easy.” I didn’t bother to read the article because I have learned, after three feeder attempts, that the easiest way to clean one is to avoid putting one out.

It’s August again, and my Indian Paintbrush is drying up, the little flyers are visiting elsewhere, and the grasshoppers are starting to dine on the petunias. After I finish watering the bedraggled flowers, I am going to clean something else in five easy steps.

First step – make a list of what to clean. Second step – stand up. Third step – grab my water bottle for hydration during the big event. Fourth step – check email and phone for possible diversions from cleaning. Fifth step – hang the list on the refrigerator.

I do enjoy getting my steps in each day.

When you’re a new parent, your hopes and prayers are, “Please let her sleep longer.”

When you’re a new grandparent, your hopes and prayers are, “Please let her wake up soon so I can hold her!”

Just an observation from weeks of experience.

My daughter had a cute little project for me – sew some jingle bells on little felt wrist bands for her baby. I had the materials, so we cut and sewed, employing Velcro closures.

The first set turned into an ankle wrap for a six-year old, as the felt stretched too widely. When the second stab at it didn’t comply, I switched to elastic. The first elastic was cut too small, and then too large. So the second attempt produced ankle wraps again. After finally achieving a wrist and ankle pair of jingle bell entertainment, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Later that day, I was trying to convince my daughter that she and I could lay hardwood flooring in her home – like the women on the commercials do. She looked at me and said, “What makes you think we could do that if we couldn’t get a jingle bell bracelet right?”

Touche’.

It’s trash day. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle! The most amazing thing about trash day is the inconsistency of weekly trash. If just one person is absent for a couple of days – we really don’t have much refuse. How can one person and two days of absence result in such a piddly little amount? Hmmmm.

Speaking of trash, I took time last night to watch truncated portions of shows and movies I had dvr’d. Apparently I don’t have the time or attention span to complete an episode? I even had an unfinished “Little House on the Prairie” to watch. So, I viewed six different recordings. Delete!

Just getting the trash out.