Author: Rene

Apparently 1/8 of an inch is something I will sweat. My willing husband ripped out boards already placed just to make the proper width in a board that was irking me to no end. I shall not delve into the additional hassle caused by my annoyingly keen eye. Actually, it was bugging my man, too. We just both hoped for the past week that it would magically correct itself.

We only had three boards left in finishing the deck surface yesterday. As of last night, we still had one.

It was a long day, and I instigated it. Knowing that today starts with that last board, I wonder how long I can make this day go?

Just a few things to remember when you are taking up a painting project:

• You have painting clothes for a reason and do not need any more. Change into your old duds and preserve your only decent pair of shorts.
• You usually do not get more nimble and adept with age. Use your ladder with care. Shoes are recommended.
• Wear a shower cap. Even if you aren’t painting over your head, you will get paint in your hair.
• Should you put a tarp on your good carpet, or just wing it? Self-explanatory.
• A steel wool pad will be the only means of removing KILZ primer.
• You will look super-cool in public with paint remnants on your legs.

And finally:

• Under no circumstances should you say or think, “This won’t take long.”

Well, the only detention I received in high school was for chewing gum in Mr. Stolzenburg’s class. Heck…I chewed gum every day and reveled in my ability to fool my instructors. But I got caught!

My biology instructor recently passed away, and I gIve him credit for my only demerit. I’m pretty sure there is a special place for teachers who foiled their students while letting them retain their dignity.

Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species.

Well, rumors have flown through the ‘hood ever since we moved here 24 years ago. There is a fox living in the ditch! I had never seen him – until I went walking with my hoodwink friend, Parsha. He ran right out in front of us from the ditch. However, he was red, not brown as in typing class lore. This was three days ago. Then early Monday morning, around 1 a.m. – my friend and I both awoke to this weird scream coming from outside – somewhere between our homes. It sounded just like this:

Maybe that squirrel repellent attracts other animals?

Watching, “This Week in Agri-Business,” yesterday, I learned something which made me chuckle. I am not old, I am “vintage.”

First of all, this is a fascinating show in the early morning hours, as well as educational. I couldn’t help feeling at home listening to farmers speak about crops, the FFA conventions, the adaptations being made with this pandemic. And then the little blurb about tractor restoration showed up.

A Minnesotan drove to Florida to obtain a vintage tractor to restore and enter in competition at the national FFA convention. He won! His tractor, forgive me – I was trying to tame my tresses and didn’t get the make and model – was a “vintage” 1977 machine. Apparently it was a stunner, returned to better than former glory. I learned I could tune in this fall for opportunities to buy vintage machinery, and if I had any, to please call in to get on the docket.

This machinery could use a little restoration. I’m thinking of putting myself on the docket.

This was always a favorite saying and one I recalled as I was mini-crafting yesterday. Looking forward to the day when art museums reopen. For today, we shall enjoy the grandeur and beauty of the Artist.

Count your lucky stars that you don’t sleep with this by your spouse’s bedside, and furthermore, aren’t awakened at 5:30 am every time she thinks there is a squirrel on the roof of the porch.

It’s true. If I hear an inkling of activity on the porch roof, which is outside our bedroom window, I arise, take the screen out, and spray this awful-scented mixture. We haven’t had a squirrel for the past two weeks! I have been applying this spray approximately every five days. It seems to be an effective remedy in our squirrel-prevention-from-the-bedroom approach.

It’s people and pet safe, and the product says, “satisfaction guaranteed.” Maybe it does belong in the bedroom?

Yesterday I made an escape in the Escape to the city for friendship and lunch. Since I’ve been getting about three weeks to the gallon, I have put off filling the tank. I can’t even recall when I last did it, as my husband was getting his kicks filling all of the vehicles with gas for $1.00 a gallon. We had quite the price war going on here for awhile.

Anyway, I decided to clean out whatever was sitting in the back seat: my old electric knife, which is now a foam cutter, a torn bag of newspapers never delivered to my friend for her raised-bed project, 35 cents, parking garage ticket, and a dirty towel I must have used for something months ago? Anyway, with a neatly organized machine, I proceeded down the road. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to look at the gas level.

I rolled into the station with seven miles left until empty! I haven’t run out of gas since I drove the Aerostar and toted a baby and toddler with a gas can down the road on a swelteringly hot day.

Truly, I “filled up” with gratitude for the Miles-to-Empty notice on the dashboard.

Yes, we have been using our phone as our calculator, plotting our deck installation. Unfortunately, we need geometry for this process, and it was my weakest math subject of all. I liked the proofs, of course, but not much else. All of this is because we are “framing” the deck with a picture frame look, and the deck is obviously not a perfect place to implement basic geometry and tricky Trex.

However, I am adept at realizing when something is “good enough.” I’m definitely not sweating an eighth of an inch any more. It’s too hot outside for that! Thankfully, my husband and his geometry skills are superior. I’m still just the idea person with a calculator everywhere I go.