Author: Rene

How crazy is it when the highlight of the day is your annual mammogram? Yesterday was pretty darn exciting in this world of change.

First of all, I had made an early morning appointment to avoid traffic, which is now non-existent. Second, I unclogged my mascara tube and wore make-up for the big event. I donned a new shirt which I purchased at the beginning of March. This was a special day! To top it all off, even though it was 37 degrees outside, I wore my matching sandals. What’s a cold foot when you are stepping out to the other side of town?

First of all, the check-in process was super-streamlined, which was quite nice compared to the way we “used to check in.” In the waiting room I met a lovely person who shared travel stories with me. This came about as we admired each other’s shoes. It was such a nice normal conversation, even though we were masked. And the technician was swift and very pleasant in our conversing. I left the building, made a stop at the Wal-Mart which has the crafting supplies, and managed to get everything on my list.

Returning home, I promptly changed clothes and shoes. The fun was over. Time to get back to business.

Thankfully, we had a surge of testosterone yesterday as my husband, son and future son-in-law offered their muscle in removing the old deck, felling a tree, and digging around three nasty tree stumps. Additionally, our skidster-operating -hero-neighbor helped knock those nasty stumps out. Along with the men, my daughter wielded a mean axe and shovel, and lifted and dug as much as the guys. (After all, she is the one who rescued me in my last bright idea of demolition, when I had the playhouse wall fall on me.)

Of course, as we hacked and sawed I was reminded of the tree I took out years ago when we extended our front porch. It was such a pretty Aspen tree, and we were going to build the porch around it, keeping the shade and beauty. The day before the builder was coming to pour footers, we decided the tree had to go and that building around a tree that would soon perish was the dumbest idea ever.

So, with my husband leaving on a business trip, the builder coming the next day, I awoke that morning and decided I would cut it down myself. This is long ago enough that I still had “oomph” in these limbs and determination and stupidity in ample supply. My husband kissed me goodbye and wished me luck as he left for the airport. (He still knows not to argue certain things.)

I was doing pretty well until I happened to bind the chainsaw, get my leg up on the tree to move it, and then realize I was in a predicament with the tree probably falling on me if I moved. As I pondered what to do – because I didn’t want that tree falling on me or the house – my neighbor was coming home with his teenage son. They saw my plight, ran over, rescued me, and helped me saw the limbs to a manageable size.

I have since been “given the axe” as a lumberjack, which is just fine by me.

You’ve probably seen this one – it is rather lovely and I was saving it for Sunday, but hey – I’ve got nothing rattling around upstairs today. Also, I’m curious to see whether or not I have actually figured out this video placement in my blog. I know you shall inform me if it fails. That’s what friends are for.

On my famous Home Depot outing of yore, I spent a great deal of time walking around the store waiting for my spouse. At least twice I thought another masked man was my guy. Same plaid shirt, mask, height, hat. It reminded me of a previous event.

Years ago we went to a wedding somewhere back East. I walked up behind a tall gentlemen in a suit, grabbed his hand and we walked into the reception venue. Moments later, as I attempted conversation, this man was just smiling at me as I realized I was holding a stranger’s hand. Thankfully we laughed, embarrassed as I was. It made me consider other potential benefits of wearing a mask, besides possibly going home with a new man.

• save on lipstick expense
• don’t have to smell other people’s bad breath
• wouldn’t have to wear dentures if you had them
• keeps a person from continual snacking
• Can be juvenile and stick out your tongue at others without repercussion
• saves on sunscreen application expense
• would make fingering you for a bank robbery more difficult
• wouldn’t swallow bugs on your run/walk
• wouldn’t have to trim nose hairs as frequently
• can mutter to yourself and no one hears you

And finally, you can sing loudly in Home Depot while looking around to see “who is doing that?”

Yesterday was quite eventful in my little world. My husband and I went on an “Operation Checklist” outing, beginning at 7:30 am. We went to Home Depot for valuable sprinkler parts, Wal-Mart for precious crafting supplies, the UPS store to mail a package, and finally, our favorite breakfast burrito take-out establishment. By the time we got home and ate, it was nearly 10 am. I still had to read the paper and do the puzzles!

Once things were completed, I set about finishing the project I began at the beginning of the quarantine. Here is the documentation that I really did accomplish one thing over the past two months!

My “free to me” dresser is pictured after we had chopped it down to this size and rebuilt the bottom. I took out a few drawers, reworked shelves, and chipped the buckled laminate top off. We used the chop saw, hacksaw, miter saw, and table saw. Scrap lumber only. Cost so far – $0.00.

Next, I had to paint this lovely gem. Once again, house paint I already had. I applied the paint, and then of course, took some of it off giving is a “professionally distressed look.”

Finally, what I did yesterday was put the finishing touches on the new piece of porch furniture. Instead of a painted wood backing, (too heavy and I didn’t have a scrap piece of lumber that fit) I caved in and purchased lemon tablecloth fabric to staple on it. My total investment in this “lemonade” craft, $4.50. Very satisfying. On to the conservatory!

Jimmy Fallon had a “Star Wars Rap Tribute” last night to open the show. I was a little lost, as I haven’t seen the entire saga, though I know the appropriate names as answers to the crossword puzzles. The commercial following advertised the nine-movie story streaming on all of Disney’s channels. So maybe I can catch up?

This all reminded me of the first time I saw Star Wars. I was in college, and I was in awe. Not by the movie, mind you, but the intro – that amazing surround sound feature! I actually paid to see that movie three times, just to hear the Dolby surround sound introduction. You can hear it, can’t you?

To see a movie three times was crazy, mostly because I think I’d only seen five movies in my life in an actual theater. (And right now, I’m hard pressed to think of them. “Song of Norway,” “101 Dalmatians,” and some horror flick they showed us kids every Christmas in the condemned theater in our town. Okay – maybe only three?) Good times.

So, I kind of, sort of, enjoyed Star Wars. I think I made it through three movie releases before I lost interest. But that Dolby blast that started out quietly and thrummed to a pulsating wonderful pitch totally enveloping my body and soul – that was worth showing up three times to the theater.

May the fourth be with you. And the fifth! Happy Cinco.

We have a regular Nat Geo series occurring in our immediate neighborhood. Wednesday night at the CoVid Cantina, aka the neighborhood gathering at socially acceptable distances, our little party was privy to what definitely appeared to be the mating of our hawks. We observed them atop our chimney, and then “honeymooning” around the other rooftops.

Twigs and grass have been flying around as a nest is built. I personally can’t see the nest, but I know I’ll hear the peeps when the chicks hatch, because I think these are the same hawks that graced our ‘hood last year. They provide such majesty to our environment. Aside from their beauty, they are phenomenal at taming the rabbit population, an added bonus.

I only wish they’d prefer squirrels. And that squirrels didn’t prefer the siding on our home. Survival of the fittest at work in our microcosm.

Here is a great link for today courtesy of “Pois.” If it doesn’t work – maybe retype the whole business onto another device? And if that doesn’t work, thanks to Mom for the quip. And if my son reads this – maybe he can fix it again – because you can buy technological help!

Everyone needs one. I’m thinking of building one. I know, I seem to dream about building a lot of things. I need to use that online architectural degree I’ve been pursuing during this time at home. (I should have done that!)

Sitooterie – a word whose popularity has waned since 1975. Wonder why? It’s a substitute for “gazebo, conservatory, place to sit and relax.” See? Everyone needs one. Now, wouldn’t a conservatory be cool?

I dream of one towering above the house, glass-enclosed, full of Dale Chihuly glass sculptures, not unlike the Chihuly museum in Seattle. I would put plants in there, but living in this desert-like climate I relinquish that part of the conservatory dream. Glass is easier to grow. When the morning sun would rise and hit that place – rainbows and color everywhere!

Of course, it would not be cool, but rather too hot to even go in there and relax. It would no longer be a sitooterie, rather a window-washer’s dream. So, I’m going to make the little baby conservatory I found on Pinterest using old windows. I will install fake plants, or maybe unused glassware from the cupboard.

And really – I won’t do any of this because it will require my spouse’s intervention and he will ask, “Now where is this piece going?” I don’t have that answer. Yet.

“There’s a Wocket in my Pocket!” That was my favorite Seuss book to employ at bedtime, because once again, I could recite it and turn the pages without even looking. Those were the exhaustion days and the Doctor provided relief. Now, I feel like I have to reread the pages from the night before of my current entertainment to remember what the heck the story is about anyway. It’s time for a change up.

I’m digging back to the past and bringing out the old Norton anthologies – huge tomes of which we only studied about a quarter in college, if that. Jostle the brains cells again, right, “Paroline,” fellow cohort in the pursuit of English language studies? See what the heck the other sonnets are about? By the way, Sir Patrick Stewart recites a sonnet a day if you’re interested. I learned this from Katie Couric via “Pann.”

Don’t worry – I won’t do “Sonnet of the Day,” And you can use “What’s your favorite Dr. Seuss book,” as a start to your cheerful banter at the dinner table.

We’re all digging deep.