When shopping, I try to connect with people, even though we are both masked and standing in the same aisle searching for what is or isn’t on the shelf. You can tell when someone is smiling whether they have Irish eyes or not!
Grocery store cereal aisle:
- Me: Hey.
- Other human shopping: How’s it going?
- Me: Oh it’s going well. How about you?
- Shopper: I feel like I’m making life and death decisions, you know?
- Me: I do. There are too many choices here.
Perhaps my fellow human was referring to the pandemic, but the cereal aisle always overwhelms me. I think we could narrow the whole thing down to about five and be good. It takes me forever to find what is on my list.
Target store while shopping with a friend:
- Friend to six-year old girl with sparkly pink boots: Wow! Those are sure pretty boots! (Actually, I didn’t comment on them because I was secretly coveting them.)
- Dad of girl: Can you say thank you? She liked your boots?
- Girl: Thank you. (Presumably mumbled because I didn’t hear her.)
- Friend: You’re welcome.
- Dad: You can put your dress down now.
- Friend: Don’t give it all away!
And finally, in the candy aisle of the grocery store:
- Me, thinking: Ooh…Dark chocolate or milk?
- Radio in the store starts playing the refrain: “Just walk away Renee…”
No soup for you!