It’s “Hey Rene J” Today!

The Pickle Ball Championship Tournaments will safely continue without my participation. I stink.

Granted, I am just learning this game, which I considered was invented by a woman. One of the goals is to “stay out of the kitchen,” the area in front of the net on either side. I also find it difficult to serve without kicking up my back heel as if performing a little country dance. That part I can do quite well!

Oh, it’s good exercise and lots of laughs. Clearly I will need a new wardrobe to accommodate carrying spare pickle balls.

By the way, a man invented the game out of boredom, and it’s really based more on badminton than any other racquet sport. History is fascinating. Just living it!

The total weight of ants in the world is greater than the total weight of humans. This fascinating fact was revealed on “Wild Australia” last night as I watched the insects being devoured by the thorny devil, a lizard species. Since my husband was traveling, I took the time to indulge in the Nat Geo Wild channel. Earlier in the day I provided background noise for my granddaughter with the “Lost Treasures of Egypt.” Apparently I’m recording that series, even though I’ve already seen it. (They’re still searching for Cleopatra’s tomb, by the way, even in reruns.)

Around 8 pm I saved myself when I remembered NFL Football was actually on Monday night! It used to be my favorite activity when my husband was off selling in the world. Kids to bed, popcorn, and Michaels and Dierdorf narrating the game. After watching a snake devour a rodent I opted to stick with football, thinking it would be tamer. However, it took me longer than I thought to unwind from the drama of the game with its exciting overtime.

Maybe Mother Nature is a better pre-bedtime option after all.

Yesterday I drove to Target, parked my car, got out, and then turned around and got back in my car and drove home. It was apparently a practice run.

That’s the basic story of what happens when your wallet is not in your purse and is on the floor of the closet. I know – I do not have Apple Pay on my phone or the Target app. The thing is, I needed vanilla ice cream for my homemade peach pie, but when I got back home, I realized I could make homemade whipped cream.

I guess I didn’t need Target to save the day after all. I did it all by myself.

Out and about yesterday, I was privy to the new fall fashion line-up. The word which best sums it up is, “cute.”

By “Fall Collection,” I refer to my granddaughter’s upcoming wardrobe choices! I was over at her house dropping some things off and had the chance to rock her to sleep in her nursery. As I sat there I viewed the stunning array of cuteness. “Snuggle this Muggle,” was her onesie choice of the day.

My “fall collection” is basically a series of bruises and scrapes, the latest acquired emptying the dishwasher. It was a two-adhesive bandage injury. The deep purple is just my accent color.

Well, I was gratefully on duty yesterday, so I really didn’t expect to see anyone other than my angelic grandchild and her parents.

My husband is used to seeing my mess, thrown up on my head and clipped out of my eyes. And really, it didn’t matter. However, after my wonderful son-in-law showed up to claim his child, and after we transported the goods, I had the opportunity to gaze at my visage.

Bad news. I need a haircut.

Good news. I know how to cut hair! Just a little skill I picked up via a “Krafty” friend in college. It’s good to employ those abilities and stay fresh. Bonus – I don’t charge for the service. However, cheerful banter is accepted.

Yesterday my daughter did some work over here, and I managed to hold a baby and play some bridge with a few friends who juggled their schedules to make a game.

Anyway, upon my daughter departing she could not find her sunglasses. “Perhaps one of your friends accidentally took them,” she mused. “I’ll send a missive,” I replied as I stuck my hand in my 13-pocket overalls.

Voila! I had them in there. Suddenly, I was reminded of the time I had to send three pair of reading glasses back to my mother.

Giving all visitors fair warning. I’m collecting.

Sunday night we enjoyed our neighbor’s company on the deck, chatting and regaling each other with witty banter. In between the fun stories, my friend shared a tale of her sister-in-law’s misfortune.

Apparently a cleaning company had gone into their Scottsdale home and found inches of water from a malfunctioning refrigerator’s ice machine. Major damage requiring some gutting! The question of why that story came up, was answered Monday morning. I went to grab the blueberries for my breakfast, and voila! Ice build-up in the fridge.

Well, what else do you do on Labor Day? We “defrosted” our frost-free fridge, emptying it and cleaning it out. It wasn’t a bad exercise, as we probably needed to revisit a few expiration dates. Luckily, I found my pickled beets. Bonus!

We are back in business this morning, successfully de-icing. Beets for lunch!

Every fall I am taken aback. I have seasonal allergies. Apparently I have a short term memory on that, as I end up appalled when I begin sneezing incessantly and using a box of tissues daily. “Oh yeah. Ragweed.”

It takes a few weeks, but I get back in the swing of pills and Neti-pot use. (Thanks for that reminder, Sis.) However, when I begin praying for an early freeze, it is a clue that fall is upon us and I am done being miserable.

I’m setting my phone reminder for August 15th, 2022…just to begin the “mitigation of allergies” season. Maybe I’ll remember I have issues?

Well, the squirrels don’t seem to be doing anymore damage. Much to my dismay, we now have a family of woodpeckers residing in our backyard, each choosing their own tree.

In the spring I am used to hearing them rat-a-tat-tat on the flashing around the chimney. Why in the world would they decide to choose my yard this particular year for their residence? They did have a go at the chimney a few days ago. And as I write this a squirrel is climbing my pear tree.

It’s always something.