It’s “Hey Rene J” Today!

Well…good luck! Let’s see if this one comes through. It’s just “cute.”

Oh yes…back at the beginning when my resolve was fresh and “Spring cleaning” had a nice ring to it! Remember that? Only one closet made the cut, and even then, there was a box I ignored until now.

For every Zoom call in which I have participated, I have been wearing one of the hats from my varied collection of 39 chapeaux. It has certainly streamlined my hairstyling. One day, as I was wearing a pair of plastic gloves out in the world, I thought about the box of gloves I have from some adventure I took with my sister. I probably bought a box at a Goodwill with her, or inherited them from an estate sale my Dad attended. Anyway, they are elegant evening gloves, Easter gloves, beautiful gloves. I decided to wear them when I go to Home Depot.

As far as the spectacles – well that was another collection I had for grins. I’ve worn them for outright silliness, as none of them, save my grandparent’s glasses, have a prescription in them. Lest you think this olio was taking up lots of space, it all fits in a shoebox. If you need a pair of fancy gloves or wonky glasses – let me know. I have a few to spare!

Wasting time on Pinterest gave me a few chuckles. Thought I’d share them, even though you may have read them or are tired of all the hoopla. They still made me laugh.

• Another Saturday night in the house and I just realized, even the trash goes out more than I do.
• At the store there was a big “X” by the register for me to stand on. I’ve seen too many Road Runner cartoons to fall for that one!
• The dumbest thing I’ve ever purchased was a 2020 planner.
• Pretty wild how we used to eat cake after someone had blown on it. Good times…
• If only I’d have know in March it would be my last time in a restaurant, I’d have ordered dessert.
• My mom always said I wouldn’t amount to anything lying on the sofa, and yet here I am, saving the world!
• And finally…

Yesterday afforded my neighbor and I the opportunity to get out in her convertible and run some errands. Exhilarating! As it was lunch time, we chose to imbue a little cash into the economy and drive through the Chick-fil-a. Wow.

Never has a business been more synonymous with efficiency! Now, if you didn’t know what the menu offered, you could have seriously stopped the presses and hampered the whole system. However, if you knew what you wanted, you were ushered through as drivers were ushered out. Even though the line of autos wrapped around the building, it was a continuous flow. The order-takers walked with your car, you whipped out your credit card at the first stop, and then got your goods following. Swift, easy, and impressive.

I’m thinking this whole quarantine business is making us take a good hard luck at all of the unnecessary things we do. As a matter of fact, I don’t carry a purse anymore. All I need is an Eddie Bauer Adventure vest which acts as my carry-all, and I’m good!

P.S. This was not a paid endorsement of Chick-fil-a or Eddie Bauer, although I do enjoy both.

Since the beginning, I am proud to say we have done what we are supposed to do, even though we were doing most of it anyway as a “common sense” procedure. (As in washing our hands and sneezing into our elbows?)

Our neighborhood has taken to calling our little weekly events the “CoVid Cantina” nights. It’s three families, socially distanced, providing socially distanced appetizers or pre-packaged numbers. Nobody really has to touch anything. We can all be apart, and we can laugh together and celebrate what we need to. We started back at St. Paddy’s day, and last night continued with CSU graduates, Patt and Pelli in our presence. It would have been a hugging night, but – it was a proud get-together with hugs to follow.

I love our Cantina nights. We have some crazy entertainment on occasion – like balloon-animals and crowns created by my son. It would be great to be able to sit closer and hug each other hello and good bye. The time will come.

How crazy is it when the highlight of the day is your annual mammogram? Yesterday was pretty darn exciting in this world of change.

First of all, I had made an early morning appointment to avoid traffic, which is now non-existent. Second, I unclogged my mascara tube and wore make-up for the big event. I donned a new shirt which I purchased at the beginning of March. This was a special day! To top it all off, even though it was 37 degrees outside, I wore my matching sandals. What’s a cold foot when you are stepping out to the other side of town?

First of all, the check-in process was super-streamlined, which was quite nice compared to the way we “used to check in.” In the waiting room I met a lovely person who shared travel stories with me. This came about as we admired each other’s shoes. It was such a nice normal conversation, even though we were masked. And the technician was swift and very pleasant in our conversing. I left the building, made a stop at the Wal-Mart which has the crafting supplies, and managed to get everything on my list.

Returning home, I promptly changed clothes and shoes. The fun was over. Time to get back to business.

Thankfully, we had a surge of testosterone yesterday as my husband, son and future son-in-law offered their muscle in removing the old deck, felling a tree, and digging around three nasty tree stumps. Additionally, our skidster-operating -hero-neighbor helped knock those nasty stumps out. Along with the men, my daughter wielded a mean axe and shovel, and lifted and dug as much as the guys. (After all, she is the one who rescued me in my last bright idea of demolition, when I had the playhouse wall fall on me.)

Of course, as we hacked and sawed I was reminded of the tree I took out years ago when we extended our front porch. It was such a pretty Aspen tree, and we were going to build the porch around it, keeping the shade and beauty. The day before the builder was coming to pour footers, we decided the tree had to go and that building around a tree that would soon perish was the dumbest idea ever.

So, with my husband leaving on a business trip, the builder coming the next day, I awoke that morning and decided I would cut it down myself. This is long ago enough that I still had “oomph” in these limbs and determination and stupidity in ample supply. My husband kissed me goodbye and wished me luck as he left for the airport. (He still knows not to argue certain things.)

I was doing pretty well until I happened to bind the chainsaw, get my leg up on the tree to move it, and then realize I was in a predicament with the tree probably falling on me if I moved. As I pondered what to do – because I didn’t want that tree falling on me or the house – my neighbor was coming home with his teenage son. They saw my plight, ran over, rescued me, and helped me saw the limbs to a manageable size.

I have since been “given the axe” as a lumberjack, which is just fine by me.

You’ve probably seen this one – it is rather lovely and I was saving it for Sunday, but hey – I’ve got nothing rattling around upstairs today. Also, I’m curious to see whether or not I have actually figured out this video placement in my blog. I know you shall inform me if it fails. That’s what friends are for.

On my famous Home Depot outing of yore, I spent a great deal of time walking around the store waiting for my spouse. At least twice I thought another masked man was my guy. Same plaid shirt, mask, height, hat. It reminded me of a previous event.

Years ago we went to a wedding somewhere back East. I walked up behind a tall gentlemen in a suit, grabbed his hand and we walked into the reception venue. Moments later, as I attempted conversation, this man was just smiling at me as I realized I was holding a stranger’s hand. Thankfully we laughed, embarrassed as I was. It made me consider other potential benefits of wearing a mask, besides possibly going home with a new man.

• save on lipstick expense
• don’t have to smell other people’s bad breath
• wouldn’t have to wear dentures if you had them
• keeps a person from continual snacking
• Can be juvenile and stick out your tongue at others without repercussion
• saves on sunscreen application expense
• would make fingering you for a bank robbery more difficult
• wouldn’t swallow bugs on your run/walk
• wouldn’t have to trim nose hairs as frequently
• can mutter to yourself and no one hears you

And finally, you can sing loudly in Home Depot while looking around to see “who is doing that?”

Yesterday was quite eventful in my little world. My husband and I went on an “Operation Checklist” outing, beginning at 7:30 am. We went to Home Depot for valuable sprinkler parts, Wal-Mart for precious crafting supplies, the UPS store to mail a package, and finally, our favorite breakfast burrito take-out establishment. By the time we got home and ate, it was nearly 10 am. I still had to read the paper and do the puzzles!

Once things were completed, I set about finishing the project I began at the beginning of the quarantine. Here is the documentation that I really did accomplish one thing over the past two months!

My “free to me” dresser is pictured after we had chopped it down to this size and rebuilt the bottom. I took out a few drawers, reworked shelves, and chipped the buckled laminate top off. We used the chop saw, hacksaw, miter saw, and table saw. Scrap lumber only. Cost so far – $0.00.

Next, I had to paint this lovely gem. Once again, house paint I already had. I applied the paint, and then of course, took some of it off giving is a “professionally distressed look.”

Finally, what I did yesterday was put the finishing touches on the new piece of porch furniture. Instead of a painted wood backing, (too heavy and I didn’t have a scrap piece of lumber that fit) I caved in and purchased lemon tablecloth fabric to staple on it. My total investment in this “lemonade” craft, $4.50. Very satisfying. On to the conservatory!