It’s “Hey Rene J” Today!

There is not enough germ gel on the planet to counteract the circumstances involved in elementary education! God bless the teachers.

Yesterday was a rather quiet day. I had just returned from sanitizing my hands so as to eat my lunch in the calm of the library. A lovely young lady of approximately eight years of age decided to visit and make a purchase with her $2. Happy for the company, I helped her find an exquisite eraser, one I’m sure her parents will enjoy picking up from the floor after its non-use.

As she came to pay she took off her shoe and produced the bills, nice and sweaty. I de-rumpled them, smiled, and aired them out before placing them in the drawer later, knowing I would probably distribute them to another unsuspecting shopper as change.

Perhaps a cashless society could also save us money on germ gel costs alone?

Tonight dessert consisted of a piece of banana-split-flavored Double Bubble gum. The jaw-breaking experience reminded me of those awesome days of youth – when my father would exclaim, “Quit chewing your gum like a cow chewing cud.”

There was an art to that chewing though, and it gained me accolades at bubble-gum blowing contests. Not once, but twice, I won bragging rights as the bubble-gum champion at camp. My parents were proud, taking out a full-page ad in the local paper touting my success. Stock was purchased in Bazooka Joe gum, and scholarships were assured. I had signings at the local grocery store by the candy counter. My sister was thrilled and continued to add to the gum chain she was folding so intricately. (That part is true.)

Ah yes, – fond memories and a sore jaw to cap off a crazy day.

Have you watched “Zoey‘s Extraordinary Playlist,” on NBC Sunday evenings? Ha! I lived Miss Zoey today.

Zoey is a young woman (okay, I’m not living that part) who can hear and see people singing and dancing their thoughts and feelings – but no one else sees or hears them. Once she is privy to those inmost thoughts and feelings of co-workers, parents, friends – via music – the person returns to normal and no one else has experienced the singing and dancing.

I’m pretty sure I share Zoey’s frustration at having this amazing ability. Today Fr. David gave a homily addressing the temptations of Christ by Satan. One point he made was about “not giving up” when temptation strikes, not giving in. All I could hear as he was delivering the homily was Tom Petty singing, “I Won’t Back Down.” The entire 9 am choir was behind me as I accompanied at the piano. Lots of clapping and lyrics, “I will stand my ground, and I won’t back down.” I could see and hear the whole thing.

Perhaps the person who dreamed up the show was listening to a homily when the idea was conceived? It’s a fun show. I’m looking forward to the next episode – and homily!

No, it’s nothing sexual at all, which is to say that it’s an odd word as it seems to imply that it could be. My lovely “Word Genius” app informs me that today is a bissextile day, the extra day of a leap year. I enjoy finding words I have never known before. I would say I enjoy learning them, but I’ll probably forget I learned this one.

Except for the fact…today is my brother and sis-in-law’s anniversary! So go out there and enjoy this once-every-four-years opportunity on this glorious bissextile day.

And spread the word knowledge, not germs.

Finally, after four years, I consented to getting my Ford Escape recall taken care of. (The door latch can come open on its own, apparently.) I was getting a little tired of the biannual barrage of notices, so I made the appointment for 3:30 pm. Even though the door has yet to open of its own accord after tens of thousands of miles, I guess it could happen.

I arrived at the dealership. Why is it that whenever you arrive at a service department, you are not greeted with a smile and a “Welcome! How may I help you?” My experience is that you have to stand there while they take care of important computer business without having them acknowledge you for a few minutes. Believe me – I addressed that grievance with them a few oil changes ago! Customer Service 101. I digress.

When the service woman finally deigns to acknowledge me, she gets on her computer and frowns. My recall is a four-hour procedure, they close in two and a half hours. ? ? ? Why did they let me book it for 3:30 pm? I guess they thought I would leave my transportation overnight and sleep in the lounge? To be fair, they do have a shuttle service. Yet, why start a job you can’t finish for another day? (That was in Customer Service 201.)

So, I returned home and vowed to leave the latch unrepaired yet again. I’ll just get a bungee cord for some added security.

Worn, faded, lifeless. No, I’m not writing a depressing Haiku, nor am I talking about my hair color.

Privy to the “early morning” commercials during my fasting from sleep, I was entertained by an advertisement for the “Posh Mark” app. Three women were having a lucrative time with this phenomenal app. It allowed them to resell their designer clothing and handbags online, the ultimate in recycling your closet. One woman had purchased a family vacation with her proceeds, another funded her wedding! The last poor thing only made $10,000 in extra cash selling off her closet.

As I stood looking at the opportunity before me and the thought of a new career, I concluded it’s possible for me to sell off my closeted goods and fund a weeknight stay at a Ramada downtown, but only if I use a groupon deal with it.

Back to the worn and faded choices of which I am rather fond.

My lovely son made a delicious Fat Tuesday meal for us and asked what I would be “giving up” for Lent. Now we all know you can give up lots of things, but then you have to find a replacement, because something has to fill that void.

I told him I would give up cleaning the stove so that others could enjoy that opportunity. After last night, I think I should also throw in the countertops. I could also omit cleaning the wood-burning fireplace in favor of someone else relishing that task. (We enjoyed the fire as the wind whipped through our fair state and brought more snow yesterday. It is a supreme mess to clean though.)

However, I have found a replacement for the sacrifices I will be making this Lent. A nice 1,000-piece puzzle is now set up in the family room, on a portable table, providing a new temptation for me as I avoid my domestic duties. It will be fun to work on it as others are cleaning the fireplace and stove.

Uh huh. We can still party ‘til the cows come home – as long as they are home around 9:15ish. And as long as the party isn’t too crowded or noisy, and there is food available, and libations. Oh – and a private room for important phone calls.

Last night we dug our heels in and went into the city to try out a new food truck and tap bar opportunity. Thank you Panita and Prudy, for getting us out of our suburban drill. There was sustenance and drink, the party wasn’t blasting loud noise and it was pretty low-key since it was Monday night. And there was a private glass-enclosed room just for making or receiving phone calls! Maybe that’s the key to our newfound nightlife recipe? Avoid the crowds, get in and out early, and still make it home to tend to the needs of the canine. Oh, and be able to make a phone call in a private phone booth so you look cool.

Yes. We are “hip and with it,” but of course, no one was there to verify it. Moo.

Yes, I’m back in the ‘hood. Back to the routines. Back to the hacking and sneezing from the choir at Mass last night. I would be concerned, but a “cold is a cold,” and I’m more interested in another “anti-vaccination” issue we have not considered.

It’s not really a vaccination, but it is another deliberate decision to ignore the best needs of the general public and do what you want. (Oops) I’m talking about DST. Daylight Saving Time. Now, I really don’t care where anyone stands on it, but my sister and I are waiting for someone to appear in court and announce they are late because they do not adhere to DST standards, therefore, they are not late, but “on time.” (Actually, now that I think about it, I could use this wonderful excuse! I could even feign that I didn’t know we were “on” or “off” DST? I could say that I am an Arizonan at heart. Or Hawaiian? I could say that I didn’t really know which state I was in. Confusion?)

The Nebraska Unicameral is considering eliminating DST. I have to say, living more centrally than most, it does screw up circadian rhythms that you didn’t even know could be screwed up! If they pass the bill, Nebraska, (aka “The Good Life,” “which is not for everybody,”) would do the courteous thing and not implement it unless the contiguous states would do the same, and Congress would approve it. I just thought that was interesting news. And I thought it was really well-conceived in its proposal.

At the same time, I thought that it was strange someone hadn’t already used the anti-vax excuse with DST and insisted they weren’t late to a meeting. Would it hold up in court? I guess a well-trained lawyer could argue that one.

How many of you investigated “kefir?”

We were sitting ‘round the campfire last night and at one point, everyone was on a device “googling” or “tweeting” or “texting.” Except me. So I had to get my pad and do something because of peer pressure! It is handy though – to have so much knowledge at your fingertips.

I shall be returning home with a tiny bit of kefir to give me unlimited health benefits, but the actual kefir grains are nowhere to be found in our supply chain. So, this could be a short-lived experiment. Just wanted to warn you in case you were stashing savings for the kefir camp. No T-shirt orders went in yesterday, just pizza orders.