When This Is Over…

(Forwarded from two friends – not my witticisms, nor photo. It’s 15 degrees, snowing, and cold! My brain is frozen. Here you go…)

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

Home schooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

Day 5 of home schooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Living room.

Day 6 of Home schooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year”…. I’m offended.