It’s “Hey Rene J” Today!

Seriously, I had a quirky thought for today which now evades me, but in popped the continual musing about my sofa to occupy that precious space.

My sofa needs reupholstering or replacement. I like it though, antiquated and dilapidated as it looks. When I perused the “sea of sofas” in the Macy’s home furnishings department, I was struck by how lackluster they were in color. Nothing stood out, except the lime green accent chairs. Maybe the sofa is supposed to blend in to the decor, not be the crown jewel?

For now, I’ll continue to enjoy plopping on it and thinking about it and let the universe work out that dilemma.

Yes, I had a planned blog for Monday, but my duty arrived early. I was chosen to babysit!

Many things are amazing in that statement. Number one, I have quite a long “to do” list. Everything on it goes out the window when my granddaughter arrives. There is absolutely nothing more important. And then when she is here, I am convinced I can educate her properly in every way. We chat, we sing, we walk, we do all of that fun stuff I didn’t know I could regurgitate.

However, yesterday, I did employ some assistance, as evidenced by my photo. My lovely daughter left her precious cargo in my and my neighbor’s care. We took her on a journey in the stroller, and then we both sat outside while she continued to sleep, longer than we thought. Thus, we kept the emergency bottle properly chilled.

It is probably a wiser use for the bucket. I think we passed the babysitter test.

Oh, I couldn’t resist. My husband pointed this one out.

I do support that crazy Norwegian women’s beach volleyball team in their protest of the “dress code.” It has helped pique interest in the sport, and quite frankly, the overall Olympics.

While I’m not that invested in this year’s games, it does make for good background noise!

Whenever that amount shows up on the register, I pronounce, “Norman invasion of England by William the Conquerer.” Befuddled looks. $14.92 is an easier year to get a rise out of some who remember the simple rhyme for a certain explorer landing on our shores.

Of course, if a year pops up that is personal to me, such as $19.77, best year ever, it might elicit a cheer from my mental vault. Thus, I chuckled when sent this meme from the APB press.

I encourage you to look for years for which you, too, can promote history and merriment. Of course, this will require retail therapy and interaction with a cashier-of-yore. None of that self-checkout scene. Old-fashioned personal communication required. Be radical!

Oh, this was a feat I attempted many times, as I’m sure anyone who had a swing set in the backyard did. Unfortunately, the last time I did it I was probably too old to be doing so. I slammed into the back of the playhouse and put my arm out. Of course, I fell mightily and sprained my arm quite nicely. Thankfully, this was not a first or last sprain, and my parents had ace bandages to remedy those situations.

It was fun to try and stick the landing. Go Team USA!

Oh, the ads plugging my home state do give me a chuckle. If this shirt had been in my size, I’d certainly have purchased it, whether it’s true or not. Okay – we know it’s true.

Not the hairnet episode of yore, but an equally silly look I managed to acquire whilst running errands yet again.

First of all, when you renovate any part of your home you encounter “first world” problems you didn’t anticipate. Our fancy schmancy shower has a door-to-floor clearance of an inch. No fun fluffy shower mats or rugs. No plush memory foam mats. No beautifully woven mats. Thus, I am on attempt number four to find the solution.

Attempt number three was the cause of my public grief. I thought I had discovered the perfect rug. Simple, with an elegant line matching the “spa” theme of my dreams. Additionally, it appeared to be large enough to accommodate the wide swing of the shower door. The rapture and thrill of finding a necessary, yet boring household good swept over me. I carried that rug around proudly.

As I placed it at the cashier’s caring hands, I looked down upon my purple overalls – carefully chosen as they had another day of wear left in them. I was white with fuzz. The cashier was aghast. I was apparently dumbfounded as I purchased the rug anyway, assuming it would work and I could throw it on “air” in the dryer. However, I found myself having to borrow the lint roller from the employees and proceed to roll it around my body with all shoppers watching. It was pretty bad.

Thankfully, I’ve lived long enough to find very few moments embarrassing anymore. By the way, the rug is a nano-millionth of an inch too long. The door doesn’t like it. Thus, I’m on attempt number four.

This one struck me as I was perusing that lovely Nextdoor app. There’s always fodder there.

Someone advertised a “slay” bed – for free! It would certainly make the crime easy to track.

Well, I do not remember them wearing hairnets, but I’m sure they did. I wear one every time I serve lunch at the homeless shelter on either Thursday or Friday. Yesterday I got to pick a white hairnet! They were out of the brown ones that blend in to my traditional color.

I forgot to take it off and proceeded to stop at various outings on my way home from lunch duty. No one said a thing. As my Sis said, “They probably thought you were a lunch lady!”

And that is the nicest compliment I have had in quite a while. Channeling that inner patience and tolerance today!

Heading out on a bike ride reminded me of this venture, since I’m “re-cycling” today. It’s been a few years since that was my main mode of transportation, and I’m gearing up in my road-rash-resistant gear, just in case…

And of course, it also reminded me of the motto I gave my kids went we left on vacation without them. “Always recycle.” This was meant to imply that there had better not be a party and if there was one, no traces found.

Additionally, it called to mind a silly movie we watched last night that made no sense as far as what was stored in the attic. Suffice it to say, “recycling” has hit a nerve for the day, which coincides with the trash service. Maybe these thoughts were all meant to remind me to remind my husband to take out the garbage? Mission accomplished.