It’s “Hey Rene J” Today!

Luckily, there is a posse of said-friends in my world, but there is one funniest-ever-still-makes-me-chuckle moment from my teen years.

My sister and I were sitting next to each other at Mass. Mistake number one. Mistake number two, the altar server, who shall remain unnamed at this point, knelt over one of the floor vents at the most sacred part of the Mass. His cassock “blew up” like a blimp. It was cold and he must have enjoyed that warmth, because he didn’t move. Mistake number three – we were at the front of the church.

I still laugh at that image and the fact that we could not, through tears, stop laughing, nor ignore the evil eye from our parents. Good times.

We always place a napkin at each plate when dining – even if it’s just the two of us. It’s not always properly “placed,” as it could be flung across the top. Anyway, I do have an Aunt Phyllis, and I do have an Aunt Jane who is a nun. Thought this was a cute meme and it made me think of those two wonderful women who would get a kick out of this.

I shall try to do more diligent and careful work in my napkin folding. Perhaps I should employ my son? He knows how to fold after working for a caterer! Oh – then I guess I need to invite him for dinner more often?

Well, I didn’t see it, but my spouse did. The squirrel ran up the driveway to our “highway-of-pines-to-the-roof” and immediately turned and ran away! Those solar repellents work! I wish I could have seen it and felt some bit of vindication.

Instead, I saw my little silent hummingbird and shared in his appreciation of nature. A much sweeter trade-off for my rodent-eradication-persistence.

This person has the right idea! I’m sure my mother, daughter, and granddaughter would concur with me. It’s possible my siblings will continue to ignore me and my contributions to their welfare.

Had a great reunion yesterday with my pal, “Pacie.” Conversation drifted to many places, including food. P.F. Chang’s or East Dynasty? Pad Thai, fried dumplings, why do we order the same things? Or why do we order our favorite things at other restaurants when we already know we most like the way they are prepared at certain places? These heavy considerations floated through the realm yesterday, prompting me to post a missive sent by a relative of mine.

Apparently she and I have been spending a little more time together and she’s reading my mind. Food was the predominant thread-of-the-day.

You all think I’m nuts, but after yesterday’s episode of Dr. Oz, I stand vindicated.

I never watch Dr. Oz. However, I was stranded in the rocking chair with my sleeping granddaughter and could not change the channel. Do not disturb the sleeping infant, especially on your first babysitting watch, I always say. Well, I never said that, but now I do.

The show was rather informative. Oz was interviewing persons attacked by none other than – vicious squirrels! Video clips! Photos of the stitches required after scrapes with the varmints! Traumatization from those in New York being interviewed! Children who couldn’t go into their yards! My husband saw this, too, by the way.

So, first of all, I thought that those in New York don’t have a clue about wildlife. Typical Midwestern response, which could be true. Then, I empathized. Yes, cute, yes, playful, and yes – give them an inch and they take a mile. (“Pois” – I am not feeding them!) Thus, my guilt at installing solar-powered rodent repellents, which apparently put off a high-pitched sound that my daughter can hear, but not my dog, is assuaged a bit. I only have to get to winter with the technology.

So, sometimes it’s just nice to know you’re not the only one in the battle. Thank you, Dr. Oz. And really – don’t you have something better to do with your time? I don’t, but maybe you do, nationally-televised doctor?

Or maybe I, too, could host a TV show?

German class, and someone else remembers this conversation, I’m sure. The answer, “An den See.” Well then you might ask, “Wo ist Monika?” “Im Boot.”

One year of German in a Midwestern school and I can pretty successfully find Peter in the sea and Monika in the boat. Of course, I can count to 1,000 which is also useful. Quite frankly, when various members of my family visited Germany on numerous occasions, I could find my way and converse adequately. Thus, I laughed when I came across this lovely Pinterest post. I shall employ it.

“Ich liebe dich.”

There are job openings everywhere, that’s for sure! Our patience in the “first world” is being tested as we wait longer in lines, wait longer for food service, wait longer at the pharmacy(!) and in general, just wait longer. Sent by an avid fan – my daughter – I thought this was one of the better advertisements. I’d work there for the sense of humor they obviously employ.

Some things are worth keeping from those “days of yesteryear.” Tips on how to avoid laundry are always appreciated.

I managed to begin my day yesterday accomplishing quite a few tasks, including breakfast with a friend. Upon arriving home, I continued to work on my tasks, only glancing at my blouse to “tuck in the facing” which was popping out. However, it wouldn’t return to the inside, but only because the entire shirt, including facing, was already on the inside, outside.

Well, with that in mind, I decided to rewear what I wore yesterday because now I have it on correctly and it’s clean, just as if it had been laundered. No one will notice, because I have changed my earrings to sport “Fourth-of-July-approaching” mode. Another fun diversion to employ!

Stay tuned. I’m certain I will acquire more blunders in my arsenal of faux pas fashion.

Well, the mule was not Sal but moi. And it wasn’t 15 miles, it was 15 gallons.

Last night we had not the gentle rains and nurturing moisture of a good soaking. We had a deluge. Thankfully, whilst speaking with “Piana,” I suddenly recalled the last deluge and my slowness-to-action. I ran to the basement and saw the beginnings of the canal. My friend graciously forgave me for jumping into “swab the deck” mode.

Bucket and mop acquired, along with all of the beach towels I own, I spent an hour sponging up water on the tiles in front of the basement door, keeping the water from the carpet. 15 gallons. Praying for the waters to part. Considering the amazing workout I was getting. Thinking about how I was going to create a new drainage diversion next week. Wondering why my spouse was gone for both episodes? Remembering that moisture is a good thing here. We Coloradans know that within three days we will have crevasses the size of a small nation in the backyard.

The other upside? My buried rosaries should sink in. Oh – and forgive me! If you have a broken rosary, I am happy to bury it on my boulevard. Off to play water engineer in the yard!